Deep Misgivings

While Lightning stares into the distance, being super emo and pondering the fate of her besieged game, Sazh stares at her chest.

You can't help but feel some deep seated doubt in your mind when you see headlines like these (click through to follow the links):

"Fans Disgusted with Final Fantasy XIII"
"FFXIII as linear as a piece of string"
"Why Final Fantasy XIII is a bad game"

Yeah, I'm still buying the English version, but Jesus Christ, am I glad I decided to hold off on buying the import. After the article I wrote (link) about Final Fantasy XIII being the last great hope of the JRPG genre, this dire news of its apparent mediocrity is disturbing. Still, all the user complaints give us, the gaming community, a lot of stuff to talk about - not a bad way to kill time before release, eh? I haven't played it, most of you haven't either, so obviously we're not qualified to pass actual judgement, but a lot of the issues cropping up are interesting talking points. Let's discuss!

From what I understand, the complaints about FFXIII seem to center on certain pet peeves, namely:

Behold! The first 6 hours of FFXIII, also known as walking forward.
(Sorry for the low quality picture, the full size Sankaku link
keeps getting kicked by SC, and this is Blogspot's largest picture size. Eugh!
Anyway, I think you can still see the point.)

1. It's linear. Too linear.

Although the maps posted of the first six hours of the game showed a disturbingly ridiculous straight line path (what is this supposed to be? a game about pressing Up?), this really isn't a big issue for me. Final Fantasy X was also very linear (although apparently not to this extent), and only really opened up when you got to the endgame. I'm not sure I like the lack of an overworld, but I guess I'll live. How coincidental is it though that every so often random crap falls from the sky in just the right place, preventing you from returning the way you came? Talk about deus ex machina.

Snow, shaking his fist at the lack of goddamn towns.

2. No TOWNS?!?!?! WTF motherfuckers?

I repeat: No towns, and since that also means no shopkeepers, buying items can only be done through save points. Now THIS is a fairly big concern in my book. Part of the sacred, unspoken, and supposedly unbreakable pattern of JRPG's (or RPG's in general, come to think of it) is the explore-town-dungeon-explore-town-dungeon rhythm that we're all very used to seeing. You know the drill: you go into town, talk to people, buy/find items, maybe see a key plot point by way of a cinematic, then troop off to the dungeon to kick some ass and build your stats. When you've killed the dungeon's Big Foozle, you explore until you find the next town. Rinse, repeat until the game ends. Without towns to break up the action, it stops being an RPG in my eyes, and starts becoming Metal Gear Solid: Turn-Based Edition.

Since I couldn't find a JPEG of the FFXIII status screen, I decided to just post a picture of the proposed X360 version of the game. That's always funny, right?

3. Two stats on the status screen. TWO fucking stats.

Overly simplified stat management is an EVEN bigger deal. You've already taken away the exploration, Squeenix, but how on earth could you take away the STATS? The precious numbers we hold so dear? Don't you know RPG nerds like us get off on micromanaging/min-maxing stuff like like this?

I need a rum coke.

We can't understand the words, but he's probably saying something gay.

4. Characters are Hanoi-ying.

A lot of the bile in the previews and comments I've read seem to be centered on Snow and Hope. Too emo, too enthusiastic, too incredibly, amazingly John-Lloyd-Cruz-level cheesy. Thankfully I have a very high tolerance level for cheesiness and characters full of witless optimism (just remember, I loved Valkyria Chronicles) so I should be just fine in this respect, I think.

Overall, what all these factors seem to indicate is that Square has taken JRPG's to their most cinematic extreme - after FFXII's heavily loot-hunting-oriented focus (at the expense of telling a story I couldn't give a shit about - fuck man, I can't even remember what happened in that game), they decided to smash us in the face with the cinematography and highly accelerated pacing.

But at what cost? Like most PPSXers, I'm a hardcore gamer, and when I pay upwards of 2 kyaw para sa bala ng PS3, I expect good gameplay. Despite all the negative press, I'm willing to give Squeenix the benefit of the doubt and still buy their game sight unseen (heck, I've been waiting this long to play FFXIII, I'm going to buy it whatever happens if only to satisfy my emotional investment in it), but if this turns out to have all the gameplay depth of a rain puddle I'm going to be quite angry.


And so will quite a few of the American fans, I'd wager. Squeenix has to realize that it's not the Japanese fans they needed to win over - those dependable Japs are still drinking that JRPG kool-aid, considering how much they still support paint-by-numbers, overly moe nonsense like Tales of Vesperia. After a console generation that has seen U.S. RPG tastes gravitate very heavily towards Bethesda's (Fallout 3, Oblivion) and Bioware's (Dragon Age, Mass Effect) more complex brand of Western RPG, they needed to convince the AMERICANS, most of all, that JRPG's were still a viable genre. Oh, I'm sure that initial U.S. sales will be fantastic due to all the pent-up excitement among the fanbase, but if the word-of-mouth isn't good, I'm kind of worried that FFXIII will convince a whole new generation of gamers that this JRPG shit isn't their type of game, and that would be a decidedly bitter legacy for Lightning and co. to leave us with.

So, um.... Final Fantasy Versus XIII, anyone?

Play this demo (on your PC!): Miles Edgeworth, Ace Attorney

I don't know how I managed to overlook this, but the demo for the first chapter of the upcoming Miles Edgeworth NDS game is up in Flash form (and has been up for quite some time now, apparently) so I'll put the link up here for your enjoyment. You don't even need a DS, just click through and play. Granted, it's a little hard to work through the demo with a mouse (as opposed to the touchscreen/stylus combo) but it's still damn enjoyable. (After all these years, Detective Gumshoe's still getting his pay docked! Poor sap.)

The new "Logic" system takes a little getting used to - it's a little different that what we're used to from the Phoenix Wright series, but okay din naman pala siya. Give it a shot doodz, it's fun and free.

(deep breath) OBJECTION! Fuck yeah, it feels good to be back in the courtroom once again!

Sleeper Hit Alert: Might & Magic - Clash of Heroes

EFR LIVES!

Sorry for not being able to update the blog as much as I'd like - the Christmas season has been pretty hectic and with all the parties and obligations EFR has gone sadly neglected. I'll try to post more often in the next couple of weeks.

Back to the subject of this post - I'd like to call your attention to what was, by far, the sleeper hit of the year for me. No, it's not a PS3 game, although there have been plenty of unheralded classics there as well...

I'm here to tell you about Might & Magic: Clash of Heroes (NDS).

I first heard about this game from Tycho's blog over at Penny Arcade. I often agree with their opinions regarding incoming titles, but at the time I really wasn't in the mood for a strategy game so I glossed over it and gave my PS3 some much needed attention. However, a couple of weeks later, when I was looking for something casual to play I decided to give it a
shot, and...

I CAN'T STOP PLAYING this motherfucking game!

Developed by Capybara (the guys behind Critter Crunch on PSN), CoH can best be described as a puzzle/strategy game with light RPG elements, an unholy combination of Puzzle Quest and Magic: The Gathering. For those of you who understand what either/both of those games are about, that's a dangerously addictive tag team. The art style they chose was unfortunately "American-drawn anime", which usually doesn't lend itself to pleasant visuals, but in this case they did a bang-up job - think "Teen Titans" and you'll have a good idea of what the game looks like.

The game is very inventive with the different mission objectives they give you to do to mix things up, and there are plenty of side quests and the like to keep the obsessive-compulsive SRPG gamer playing for a long time. And when I say a long time, I MEAN a long time, as the average clear time for the campaign mode rests at around 40 hours with all the side quests
completed. All things considered, if you have a DS, giving CoH a shot is almost a goddamn requirement.

(Fair warning: if you're yo-ho-hoing this game [or even if you just want to try it out, to find out if the boxed copy is really worth the cash] know that you'll have to search certain message board forums for the fixed rom, as the standard release has a metric fuckton of AP checks. It's totally worth the effort though.)

Musings: Tekken 6

Kazama style kung fu works best in leather pumps, apparently.

The sixth iteration of Tekken has been crucified across all corners of the internet. You know the laundry list of complaints by heart - The graphics are crappy. The scenario mode is sloppy and difficult to control. The loading is absolutely terrible, despite having an install size of over 4 gigs; it also stops to load for FUCKING EVERYTHING, with an almost Bayonetta-like dedication to waiting around. The online mode is slow as shit. Hearing all these complaints, this was definitely pretty high on my list of "hot games to skip" this holiday, and that's exactly what I did. However, when the opportunity to just borrow a copy presented itself, I decided na papatusin ko na - after all, even if the game stank, I'd probably at least get a couple cheap trophies for my trouble.

Hey, at least there's a lot of characters, right? Right?

A couple of weeks later, at 70 plus percent trophy completion, I'm still pretty happy with my decision not to buy Tekken 6. As it turns out, all of the complaints raised on message boards and gaming blogs were pretty much right on the money - the loading really does suck monkey balls (Seriously, man. Worst loading in a PS3 game everrrrr), and the graphics aren't that good - the shadowing/lighting effects are pretty awesome, but the character models are kind of simplistic. They're actually slightly inferior to Soul Calibur IV's (the models only, mind you), which is really fucking old. And yes, I actually booted up SC4 to make sure. Check the character select screen if you don't believe me, and watch the closeups.

Alisa Bosconovitch kicks ass, man!

However, what I didn't expect is that I would have quite a bit of fun with T6, despite its numerous flaws - farming for items is still pretty fun, in a dumb, simple minded way, and playing through Arena mode to watch each character's prologue and ending was very entertaining, bringing back memories of myself doing the same back on the PS1. And of course, the fighting offline is still as enjoyable as ever - it won't blow your mind, but for better or for worse, it's still the same ol' Tekken everybody knows and loves. Tekken is the videogame equivalent of comfort food - like ham sandwiches and bibingka during Christmas, it tastes like the same old shit every time, but sometimes the said "same old shit" still hits the spot.

Yay for the same old shit! TAKE THAT YOU BASTARD!

If that's all you wanted though, you may as well just pick up T5DR for much less - the animation might be crappier, but there's no loading, no disc to mess around with, no wear and tear on your PS3's Blu-Ray lens, and markedly better (but still quite poor) online. Not bad for a couple of Sony space bucks.

Musings: Band Hero

/So watch me strike a match on all my wasted time/
/as far as I'm concerned, you're just another picture to burn/

I'm not going to do a full review of Band Hero as I'm sure most everybody's already formed an opinion about it by now. I will post a few thoughts on the game though, as how I felt about the game basically rollercoastered up and down over the 2 weeks I've owned it.

I got my PS3 copy of BH as a Christmas gift, and I was excited to finally play the songs I enjoyed on my friend's 360 in the comfort of my own home. Some of my favorite pop songs were on there - "Picture to Burn" by Taylor Swift, "Just A Girl" by No Doubt, "Black Cat" by Janet Jackson, the list goes on. After the initial rush of jamming my way through these sugar-coated tracks however, I rolled through the rest of the track list and was a bit let down by the other songs on the disc. Apparently Activision was a bit short on licensing cash (or, more likely, simply didn't want to spend that much), so after the big names (current artists) there's a huge dropoff in terms of music age... from the mid 00's, the setlist jumps through a whole lot of songs from the 80's, with the 1990's being sorely underrepresented. Where's the Alanis? Top 40-era Smashing Pumpkins, Oasis, etc? In addition, a lot of the older songs seemed to be the ancient recycled chestnuts that seem to pop up in every other DDR game - YMCA, Kung Fu Fighting? Huh?

However, after I played through the career mode, I found that I had gained a better appreciation for the cheesy stuff - the versions of said oldies they included are pretty well performed (esp. the long playing version of American Pie by Don McLean - that's fire right there!), and the choreography of YMCA is so INCREDIBLY, ULTRA GAY it's worth watching just for laughs. All in all, Band Hero is still pretty decent value for the money.

Midori got a fucking terrible redneck makeover.

And if I ever get sick of the rest of the tunes, I figure I can always just loop "Picture to Burn" until I puke. It's the most upbeat song about bitterness ever, and one of the only country songs I appreciate.

Must Play: Plants VS Zombies!

I've been so focused lately on the big-name titles coming out this Christmas that I managed to overlook a title that a lot of people have been raving about -- PLANTS VS ZOMBIES! (I know, I'm way late to the party on this one.)

Although I'm a hardcore gamer through and through, I've developed a growing appreciation for casual titles over the years (thanks mostly to the influence of my Nintendo DS and Facebook applets) and I've always been a HUGE fan of PopCap Games; their titles are always slickly produced and fun, and I'm telling you, this might be the best game they ever did. I confess to being quite sick of tower defense as a genre, but this is so well executed that it doesn't feel like the same old crap at all. I've become so addicted to PvZ that I play it every chance I get - yesterday, our division head actually caught me sneaking in a couple of rounds because my accursedly slow hands weren't fast enough on the Alt+Tab.

D'ohhhh! :-(

(In fact, although I'm going to post this in the evening, I'm typing this post at work - writing about PvZ is much less conspicuous than playing it.) :-)


I strongly encourage all of you to give it a try! It runs perfectly even on my (decidedly non-gaming oriented) office PC, so the barriers to entry are really quite low. I'm currently playing the... um, yo-ho-ho version of this game (my non-gamer officemate passed it to me from his USB) but I'm going to check PSN when I get home to see if there's a version I can buy (so I can play it on my TV.)

Yes, this game is so good that I'm willing to pay for something that I got for FREE. It's that addictive. Obviously, if you don't WANT to pay for it, I'm not going to stop you... but since it doesn't cost you anything to play the full version on PC I'm begging you to at least give this a try.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to play a couple rounds of PvZ. Adik! :-D

The EFR Top Ten: Best PS3 Games of 2009

It's taken some time, but I finally got around to finalizing this list. There were some painful cuts, but hey, that's why they call it a Top TEN.

From worst to first, here's what I thought were the best PS3 games of 2009.

PS: Do not stone me for leading off this article with a picture of ugly-ass MFer Forest Griffin.

10. UFC 2009: Undisputed

An absolute beast of a game, UFC 2009 Undisputed was the most unexpected surprise I had this year. I downloaded the demo, played it, smiled like a fucking idiot, and immediately set my sights on picking this up. I wasn't disappointed, and neither was publisher THQ - this was the surprise smash of the summer in terms of sales, and I'm telling you right now it wasn't (just) because the UFC fanbase is 50% composed of crazy wildin'-out type drunkies who will buy anything - this is a HIGH QUALITY game here folks. Why buy Fight Night when you can have this? We want Undisputed 2010, NOW!

9. Killzone 2

Just a funny thing I noticed when doing this writeup - you know how people (myself included) always bag on Killzone 2 for being colorless and relentlessly grey? Well, its true! Just type "Killzone 2" into Google image search and the images you get will be pretty much monochrome. :-) Despite the bleak tone of the game's visuals (and the game in general) however, KZ2 still offered up a highly entertaining single-player experience, with visuals good enough to make me do double takes every so often, and a killer, killer sound effects suite. The multiplayer, on the other hand... um, wasn't exactly on Modern Warfare's level, but then, what is?

8. Assassin's Creed II

I'm a bit surprised at myself for including AC2 on this list, considering the deep-seated hatred I have for the first game. Hey, you have to admit, the first AC was a pretty love it or hate it type of game. And you can't say that I didn't give it a fair shot - I bought AC1 at launch (fueled by some Jade Raymond hype), played through the first few towns, absolutely hated it, traded it away, got it back in a "filler" trade, ignored it for the better part of a year, tried it again to maybe get hyped for AC2, hated it even more, and chucked it in disgust to the very bottom of my sizable box of PS3 crap. But Assassin's Creed 2 really is a marked improvement over the first game - the world is livelier, there's a much larger amount of stuff to do, and they came up with a great reward system that makes you want to push forward. It really shows that Patrice Desilets and his team really took the sometimes savage criticism of the first game, sucked it up, and proceeded to work on making this Creed sequel the best damn game they could possibly make. Sure, it wasn't enough to overcome the awesome shit that the other developers came up with, but that French bastard has at least regained my respect. (Disclaimer: As I have yet to get my hands on the PS3 version - I ran out of money - this opinion is based on the Xbox 360 version, which I played all the way through. I still plan to get the PS3 version eventually, though... for cheap.)

7. Dragon Age: Origins

Although I got suckered into buying what has to be one of the worst special editions ever made for a game, I'm not bitter - Dragon Age: Origins is still, gameplay-wise, one of the best titles Bioware ever made. The characters are interesting, the plot is filled with some wonderfully epic stuff, and the combat is a simplified version of the Neverwinter Nights engine, adapted for consoles but still retaining the strategic depth. Well, it did have an Achilles heel -- it, errr, looked like crap. But most RPG nerds I've talked to think it's an equitable tradeoff.

6. Street Fighter IV

It speaks volumes of the overall quality of this year's crop of games that the best (IMHO) 2009 entry in one of my all-time favorite genres could only manage overall 6th place. Although it came out much earlier in the year, there is no reason to deny Street Fighter IV its place in the sun. Yes, like the majority of fighting games, it's a rehash, but it's an expertly crafted, gorgeous, and very, very, VERY fun rehash that I'm willing to pay for again next year in the form of Super Street Fighter IV.

5. Batman: Arkham Asylum

Length. That's all this game had going against it in terms of Game of the Year contention. Unfortunately, Arkham really was short - maikli masyado for most people. The game was over too quickly for many people to consider more than a rent or a short-term buy (bili, tapos pasa kaagad). You couldn't fault the game based on quality though: It had MetroidVania-style exploration, loads of secrets to find, a great script (and fantastic voice acting), and the most unique combat system I saw all year.

4. Borderlands

I was one of Borderlands' chief boosters before the game saw release (promoting the game every chance I got), and Gearbox Software didn't let me down - Borderlands effectively was, as Gears of War designer Cliff Blesinzki said, "Diablo for the FPS generation". Sure, it had its flaws here and there (such as being buggier than a jar full of cockroaches) but the game was just so fun and well-put-together that it deserved to succeed... and succeed it did, becoming the sleeper hit of the year by a mile. We can only hope that Gearbox's recent trademarking of the name "Borderworlds" means we get a sequel in 2010 (although I doubt it, seeing as they're also developing Aliens: Colonial Marines for Sega. Anyway, a man can dream.

3. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2

Two years after the untouchable Modern Warfare 1 dropped we got this shiny, mega-hyped sequel.

So what changed from COD4?

Well, not the story, definitely. The plot STILL doesn't make sense, it's more a series of extremely well put together action sequences that don't really gel.

And while the graphics have improved in spots, it's still running on the same old-ass engine, so it can look a little messy at times.

The multiplayer has a load of cool stuff to unlock, and is as fun as ever, but the structure remains largely the same.

So in a nutshell, the only "new" feature they added was the very entertaining Spec Ops co-op mode, and a whole truckload of minor refinements.

And you know what? The end result was still so motherfucking FUN I had to make it number 3. Thank you, Infinity Ward. Thank you.

2. Demon's Souls

The first few hours I spent with Demon's Souls weren't what I would call enjoyable. Me and Death? We became best pals. Inadvertently walking off incredibly high spiral staircases, getting burned to death by dragons I had no idea were coming, eaten alive by wolves, getting caught in an unfortunate yet still somewhat hilarious accident involving exploding barrels -- it felt like it was always SOMETHING, goddamnit, and I was beginning to wonder if I was losing my hardcore gamer "edge". I even considered trading Demon's Souls away for something else. Well, I'm glad I reconsidered, because when I started playing again, something just clicked, and I suddenly "got it". At first I cursed at Demon's Souls for killing me so indiscriminately -- then I realized that it was simply trying to teach me the correct way to play. This is some truly masterful work by From Software, and the best game they ever made (seriously, I didn't think they would ever top Otogi 2 for the original Xbox). Sequel please!

1. Uncharted 2: Among Thieves

Considering that Naughty Dog is one of my favorite developers of all time (I'm still waiting on that REAL Jak and Daxter sequel, guys), and that Uncharted: Drake's Fortune still has a very special place in my heart, it's no surprise that I really, REALLY wanted to play this. Unsurprisingly, ND came through. But what I didn't expect was just how great U2AT would turn out - I've been burned by excessive hype before, but U2AT deserved every bit of praise that came its way. Amazingly cinematic, with the same disarming panache and light-hearted wit that made the first game so great, Uncharted 2 was a shining reminder of exactly why, despite being twenty-fucking-six years old, I still love gaming so much.

That's pretty much a wrap, folks, unless you count...

EFR's Honorable Mentions

a.k.a.

The Best of the Losers


Ratchet And Clank Future: A Crack In Time - A pretty good game, but didn't wow me enough to make me pick it up. I played through it at a friend's house and don't plan to pick it up again until it becomes really, really dirt cheap (for collection/Trophy purposes).

God of War Collection - Disqualified because neither GoW game really came out in 2009. Would have made it in if that wasn't the case.

Fallout 3: Game of the Year Edition - See God of War Collection.

Band Hero - I love this game but I can't in good conscience put a glorified track pack/Guitar Hero reskin on my 2009 best-of list. It feels... dirty, somehow.

inFamous - Because some fucker will send me another angry email if I dont include this on here. Seriously dude, it wasn't the BEST GAME EVER, so get over it.

so... Fuck inFamous! Muhahahaha! X-D

-fin-